Do you remember the school food menu? I know a lot depends on which county, and what not. I was a part of the lunch ticket program for Clark County, in elementary. You could use them for breakfast, which was donuts, cinnamon buns and white or chocolate milk. And for lunch we had a schedule, so we could see ahead of time if the dreaded ‘Porkie Pie’ would be thrown our way. I do miss the sickening sweet donuts that left a wax film on the roof of your mouth.
Then there was Jr. High. The big time menu. I seriously looked forward to this crap-tastic buffet of food products, because my mom made us eat healthy. We were poor, and health food was cheap, back then, and gross. Our school menu grew to a wider selection of pastries and sugared cereals to hot breakfast sandwiches of eggs, processed cheese and ham on a hamburger bun, for the mornings. For lunch, I was a little persnickity weirdo. I’d have about $5 to spend, so I would find out what the lunch special was, and choose. If it was burgers (I do not eat ground beef or hot dogs.), I would buy a chocolate shake, two chocolate chip cookies, soggy salted fries (so greasy you could slip and fall on one) side of ranch, and a piece of plastic pizza. I say plastic, because the cheese seemed fake. We would take napkins and lay them on the pizza to absorb the grease. I took that free time to prepare my ice cream shake sandwich and fries with ranch. I would then add fries on top of the pizza and eat them with ranch. That was a ritual, and it caught on quick. Our ranch was delicious.
The specials we did eat had amazing names, like The Big Virginian, The Big Texan, and The Big Nevadan. We can’t remember exactly what the last two were; we know one was a big old burger with the works, and one may have been BBQ pulled pork. We don’t know. It was the Big Virginian and the French bread pizza we loved. The Virginian was a shaved ham sandwich with yellow cheese sauce on an onion bun. That thing was so damn good! Well, we managed to make our version of the French bread pizza. We tried one with a Ciabatta roll, but it is not the same density as French bread.
The best part is that you really can’t screw this up. As for the Big Virginian? We will be working on that process until we get it right. This will be try number three.